So I posted this. And I promised to explain why I did. This is that explanation.
Let me first thank everyone that commented. It was awesome to here that a lot of bloggers feel like they want to quit sometimes, and how you guys tackle it. And the comments saying that they didn't ever feel this way were helpful in their own way, too.
Also, let me assure everyone that Shut Up! I'm Reading. isn't going anywhere. Not now. But I have thought about it more and more often lately. Why? Well, I think I've figured it out.
I tend to throw myself into things I love completely. When I decide to become a Superman-obsessed ten year old, you best believe I'm gonna buy everything Superman related I can and learn how to write my full name in Kryptonian. When I decide that I want to become an actress, I read about acting whenever I can and take acting classes nonstop for years until any Wizard of Oz song makes me involuntarily gag. When I get into Webkinz, like just about every other 8-12 year old in the 21st century, I buy CRAPLOADS of those fuzzy little beasts until they practically suffocate me in my sleep.
So, when I discovered I had an intense love of reading, it makes sense that only a few months after that I'd take it a step further and dedicate a whole blog to it, right?
Thinking back on it, maybe I started the blog a wee bit too early. Don't get me wrong at all, I love this blog and all I've learned because of it. But I see all these teenagers who walk into the library and half an hour later walk out with a stack of books taller that they are, and I think: I only did that like, twice. And me being at least well over 5"6 at the age of 11 is only part of the reason for that. The other part of the reason is that my review pile had gotten truly huge, and I felt like I couldn't take any more books, especially stacks of books.
It is thoughts like this that make me occasionally loathe blogging. It's when I think, "I can't read this book that I bought when a publisher sent me a book," or, "My review pile is getting HUGE, I really need to read faster," or "I have to read this book."*
Notice the underlined words? Yeah, those words can kill your blog faster than you can say "Sam Roth is Jessica's boyfriend, not mine, and I'd never dream of stealing him from her." This is because it will turn you from a reader, into a blogger. And, yes, there's a difference. Being a reader is when you just love reading, and maybe there's some blogging, but it's more of a side-gig. Being a blogger is where you feel like you have to read, because if you don't then your blog will die.
See? Difference. Huge one.
Earlier in the month, I will fully admit that I was leaning towards being a blogger. Then I realized that I was one and stopped. It was shockingly easy for me to return to being a reader, thank God.
But this past week or so, it's mostly just been the tours** that have been killing me. It was having to review them by a certain date, and the book after that having to be reviewed by a certain date, and the one after that too, and possibly the one after that. This stresses me out. And unfortunately, I get stressed out way too much and way too easily sometimes.
It's when I get stressed out that I'm reminded of those teenagers who get those giant stacks of library books on a whim, and that I can't do that, and I miss those times when I could, and wow is this blogging thing really worth it? (Hey, I never said that I wasn't a complete spazz.)
But I've calmed myself down. And, after I finish up these last 3 tour books, I will probably try something new. I think I'll worry about what I want to read instead of what I need to read. Because this blog isn't a job. It's a hobby. I think I forget that sometimes. It's a hobby that I really love. Well, when I don't over-think it, that is.
So I don't think I'll over-think it anymore. I'll just...enjoy it. :)
(Phew, sorry, for the length and rambliness of this post. I kinda got carried away and dumped everything on you guys...well, those of you that actually read this, anyways.)
*I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the review books I get. I'm very grateful. I'm just very behind, which is completely my fault.
**Also, I don't blame the tour site runners in the slightest. I just got carried away with signing up for them. See? I'm just a nutcase who takes on way too much.